I declared when I was twelve, and it still feels fine.
Told my parents: I'm an atheist. To which my father replied "no you're not" and that was the end of that discussion. I couldn't figure out how I could not be something I was. Being an atheist is as much a spiritual leap (if there were such a thing) as being any flavor of religious convert. It's not an opinion; it's a predicate of existence.
It was more, or perhaps less, than that as well. It was more a recognition that the whole business of religion was a song, and I was tone-deaf. I simply couldn't catch the rhythm, couldn't carry the melody. I couldn't even hear the choir. Some years later, I was told that all I had to do was "open my heart" as the phrase went, and God would enter. I gave that a try, as best I could. Felt bloody silly. Felt, indeed, like I was talking to the floor having to pretend it would suddenly make fried eggs. I soon stopped trying to please the people around my by playing their reindeer games.
So, merrily I roll along.
Still smilin'
2 comments:
So true - religion is a very silly thing. Especially to an American like me. I don't have blood ties back to the holy land, I wasn't raised in a culture of any particular religion, I don't speak Hebrew, Greek, Sanskrit, or any other 'language of God'. I am wholly unfit to be belong to any religion at all.
Which is perfect of course, because that's what the American experiment is all about - divining the Truth outside the lens of prejudice or prior affiliation.
Still, I feel there's a spiritual element in the world that I sometimes call God as a shorthand. It has no rules or prophets or heaven because it was here before us humans and will be here when we're gone. Why do I think so? Because we can feel emotions that override our decision making - emotions that lead us to altruism and compassion and humor. These things are totally unique to humans and I'm sure are the latest evolutionary tools to help us to not destroy ourselves. There is no deity to stop us from our base tendencies, only the reward of warm fuzzy feelings when we've overcome them. To what end? Is it part of some plan of the Universe? Who knows. But I do think it's indicative of that which is larger than ourselves, something perhaps Universal. Otherwise, as some atheists claim, we are entirely on our own and must live totally within our own heads. In that world there's a sort of vacuum of communal morality that would only short-circuit our societal and evolutionary progress.
And that's why I say I'm an atheist. Because there ain't nothing bigger than me. Because the very concept of "bigger" is mine. I, Human, made it up.
The Ambrosian proof was "God is that than which nothing greater can be conceived." It's a silly proof, though it's a lovely turn of phrase. It was disproved by nominalists seven hundred years ago. To which I add: the proof carefully places God beyond the reach of reason (greater than what we can imagine), then claims God exists because He lies beyond the reach of reason.
Piffle.
Nothing is universal except the Universe. Or whatever we decide to invent in our imaginations that so qualifies. There is nothing spiritual. "Spiritual is that than of which nothing material can be attributed." Same shell game, different words.
Still smilin'
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